recollection (spoken)

from by mikey v

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I remember the cold against my skin and the sharp sting that it left
The warmth pouring out and the numbness that came next
I remember the the tightness around my neck and the constraints of my breaths
And how in that moment I thought my pains would never end
I remember  the night when I couldn’t stop thinking of you
Taking pill by pill until it had me feeling ill
Hoping in the morning when you found me that you wouldn’t make a shrill
And I remember all too many nights like these
Where I kept myself up just to think
About all the different ways that I could put myself out of my misery
And all these long nights alone with those thoughts
and I remember all those nights I spent alone in my room
drinking until I passed out,
just trying to cope with the feelings I didn't want to let out
Trying to remind myself that I’m not alone
and trying to remind myself reasons to live
Wondering if I weren’t there tomorrow,
Would anything give?
Making every wrong decision when I was a kid
But I’m not who I was then


from limerence, released May 24, 2017



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mikey v Watsonville, California

just a dude who poured it all out

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